So the Actual Class Part Begins…

So the first week of this experience was meant for the group to be tourists. We went out to eat, saw the sights, shopped, and socialized. The tourist part is over. It’s time for… I’m not sure what, something else?

The day began with a lecture at JL Zwane. I will begin with speaker Dr. Reverend Spiwoxapile. He is the director of the church at the center. He managed to be inspirational as well as controversial. Isn’t that the best way to be a leader? The topic of conversation revolved around leadership within the Gugulethu community, amongst great hardship. His experiences have enabled him to draw many conclusions about leadership. I found him extremely quote worthy. They are self-explanatory:

- “It is the determination that makes a person get somewhere.”

- “Every leader should begin with a declaration of intent [in the community].”

- “Learn to trust [the people you are working with] until there is no reason to trust.”

- “Leadership is about helping people cross bridges that they have to cross.”

- “We are responsible for our future.”

- “The more I take myself seriously, the more I can take others seriously.”

- “We’ve got to make people realize their potential…. We’ve got to make people dream.”

- “If you can’t see far, you can’t get far.”

- “To make giants out of dwarfs, you need to talk with them.”

I found his words to be powerful and reminiscent of things I have talked about in previous leadership classes and my own general thoughts about my views of leadership. I think that I will see his words acted out at the center this week. After the other speakers, we had some time to decompress. However, I don’t think that any of us felt “decompressed” afterward. Spiwo said something during his lecture: “Black people have no place in this world.” I think that he meant that black people will always need to prove themselves as humans due to the way history has played itself out in countries all over the world. And it got everyone thinking. Is this true? What’s the difference between me proving myself and a black person proving herself? We have finally come across the “Race card.” The conversation has left me more confused about what I feel on the topic. Today, in class I agreed. I also said that I feel that way about myself because of how I was raised away from my culture. I have mentioned that one purpose of this blog is to educate. At this point, I really don’t know what I think. I feel overwhelmed. When I come to a conclusion worth its weight, I will be sure to let you know.

After an amazing home cooked meal [seriously, you don’t even know], we went on a tour of Gugulethu. Granted, I love tours. I just don’t know what to say about this one. To quote my friend and classmate Erin, the entire tour made me feel “crooked.” I took pictures because I want to show them. I want people to see the devastation here. Seeing is believing, right? But I felt so guilty taking pictures. Where is the line between education and exploitation? Everyone we meet tells us to ask questions. What questions do we ask? I certainly don’t want to be offensive, especially after all of the loving hospitality that we have been exposed to. I was caught off guard when we were instructed to get off the tour bus to go into a shack. There was a woman, or I should say girl, there ready to greet us. She is 17 years old and lives there with her 9 year old brother. She is running the household by herself. Why you ask? Because her mother died in 2006 from AIDS and she didn’t have anyone to take care of her in the Eastern Cape so she had to move to Gugulethu in the Western Cape where she found help in the JL Zwane Community Center. She is in Grade 12. Her shack was dark and damp; they didn’t have much. And while her smile lit up the room, I could tell that she bore the weight of a woman much older. I think to myself, why haven’t I started crying? This is a devastating situation. But then I think, “Who am I to cry?” I have no connection to this place and don’t know anything about her. I don’t know what it’s like to live in her shoes. I can’t be justified in being sad for her. I left dumbfounded and angry. And I don’t know why. Maybe I will know soon? Hopefully.

When we got back from the tour, a lady from the Rainbow after-school program talked to us about what she does at the center. This program is basically a tutoring program run by the center. It is important that it exists because many children aren’t that great at their English considering that Xhosa was their first language. The students are at different levels of what they know and can do. Some teachers around the area aren’t qualified for their jobs and tell the Rainbow staff to teach the children. The staff doesn’t know everything. How can volunteers be expected to do the work of people who are paid? She took us around the center to see the kids. They are so adorable! People from my group jumped in to help. I was a tad bit apprehensive because I am horrible at explaining things; so I was worried about having to teach children in subjects that I am clearly rusty on. However, I mustered up the courage to sit down with two girls in Grade 9 who didn’t understand their Geometry homework. They were having problems with finding midpoints on lines. After some work and explanation, I was able to help her get it! She actually had an “Oh…..!” moment! It was the best feeling. I am so excited to work with learners of that age this week! I almost teared up at being able to impart knowledge.

This week is going to raise hundreds of questions. As you can probably tell, I have no idea how I am feeling or what I am thinking. But I am here to learn. And to do this, I must first be immersed in this culture so I can make observations to draw my own conclusions. This is what I will be doing this week. I will be spending Tuesday through Thursday of this week in Gugulethu with my Nichole and Host Father. This means that I will not have Internet access until Friday or possibly Saturday. [Don’t worry Mom and Michelle; I have faith that I will be fine]. I will be sure to update you as soon as I can. Hopefully, my words will be a start to all of the questions I pose. I said I was ready for a life-changing experience. Here it is.